Enough To Make You Unhinged

(In university, I live with three quite immature and obnoxious guys. We each have our own kitchen cupboards for food, but mine has trouble closing fully due to some faulty hinges. For some reason, this really bothers all of them and they are continually shouting at me to close it. Each time I re-explain about the hinges and show them how it won’t close. One night they keep me awake the whole night due to being loud, and one housemate brings a girl back with him to hook up. Despite my best efforts, they won’t keep it down. The next day I am tired and extremely grumpy and barely make it through my day, then I am forced to walk a mile home in the rain. When I get in I see them all with guilty smiles on their faces. As I get in the kitchen I see they have taken my door off.)

Me: “WHAT THE H***! GUYS WHY IS MY F****** DOOR BEEN RIPPED OFF?!”

(All of them come into the kitchen, looking proud of themselves.)

Me: “WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

(Suddenly all of them look confused and dumbfounded.)

Housemate #1: “Sorry… we thought you’d find it funny!”

Me: “Why would I find this funny?”

Housemate #1: “You know. You never close it.”

Me: “Because it WON’T CLOSE! You know this and I keep explaining it!”

Housemate #3: “You were supposed to find it funny; you know, because we’re always annoyed!”

Housemate #2: “Yeah, don’t be such a d***!”

Me: “Are you kidding me right now? You took my door off for no reason other than it bothered you?”

Housemate #1: “It was supposed to be funny!”

Me: “Will you quit repeating that?! I’m not laughing at it! All last night I had to put with you boys acting like total a**-holes again and now I come home to this.”

Housemate #3: “Should have told us it bothered you.”

Me: “I did. You just did a bad impersonation of me and slammed the door in my face!”

Housemate #2: “GOD! Wouldn’t have done it if you gonna act like such a p****!”

(Right then it takes all my willpower not to scream my head off at them.)

Me: “Just screw the d*** door back on! NOW!”

(With that, I left the kitchen and refused to speak to them for the rest of the day. Thankfully at the end of that term, I moved out of that house and found better housemates.)