Enough Room(ie) For A Fight

(My housemate and I are very close friends, and we bicker like an old married couple. We’re pretty good at it too, since we used to date. People often mistake us for a couple. On this day, we’re ordering fast food, arguing as we stand in line. By the time we’ve ordered, I’m nagging his ear off.)

Server: *looks at my housemate, grinning* “Got yourself a handful there!”

Housemate: “Oh, yeah! You get used to it, though.”

Server: “I bet it’s worth it in the end.”

Housemate: *chuckling* “I get to nag this b**** right back, so yes.”

Server: *wide eyes* “So… are you paying together?”

Housemate: *smirk* “Like h***!”

Me: *simultaneously* “Like h*** I’m paying for this a**-hole!”

(My housemate takes pity on the now scared-and-confused looking server and explains that we aren’t a couple.)

Server: “But… but… You fight so cute!”