English Tips

(While going to school full-time to get my Master’s degree in English and add secondary English certification to my teaching degree, I work as a waitress in a slightly upscale chain restaurant. I’m waiting on a family with several children, aged about 8 to 20. The oldest son’s girlfriend is also with them, and the relationship is still in the new, dewy-eyed stage. I’ve just finished taking their drink orders.)

Son: “We’d also like to order [appetizer]. Her and me would like to share it.”

Son’s Girlfriend: *in a very loving voice* “It’s, ‘her and I,’ honey.”

Me: *automatically, without thinking* “Actually, it’s, ‘she and I.’”

(Mortified as the whole table looks at me, I turn bright red, hurry away to get their drinks, and have visions of them complaining to a manager about me. By the time I get all of the drinks ready, the appetizer is also done, so I take everything to the table, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. As I set the appetizer down, the son looks at me and grins.)

Son: “Thanks. ‘She and I’ appreciate it.”

(The whole table erupted in laughter, and joked with me the whole rest of the evening. They even asked me to explain why “she and I” was right, and I gave them all a lesson on the easy way to remember when to use which pronoun. And I got a big tip, but whether it was for the service or the English lesson, I don’t know.)