Elvis Has Left The Kennel

(I do portraits of people’s pets — mostly dogs and cats — though I have done a few other animals, like turtles. My customers are generally very easy to work with, but this one just… I don’t even know.)

Customer: “Hi, I hear you do pet portraits?”

Me: “Yes, indeed, I do! Would you like to purchase one?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a portrait of my dog, Elvis.”

Me: “Sounds good! I can set up an appointment for you pretty much anytime next week. If you would like me to draw Elvis wearing a specific collar or accessory, feel free to bring that in with him, but I have collars and leashes of my own if you’d rather.”

Customer: “Oh, I won’t be bringing him in.”

Me: “Um… Well, I don’t generally do house calls, but if Elvis is unable to leave the house, maybe we can work something out?”

Customer: “Oh, no, that’s not the problem. You see, Elvis is dead. He passed away, oh, about six years ago, now.”

Me: “Oh. Um, ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t do a portrait of a dog that’s no longer with us.”

Customer: “But can’t you just do it from memory?”

Me: “Well, I could maybe if I had known Elvis, but I didn’t, so… No?”

Customer: “Well, that’s a shame. Thanks, anyway!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(I honestly have no idea what she had in mind for me to do.)