Elements Of Advanced Cluelessness

Shortly after a client viewed the brief, agreed to the Scope of Work, signed a contract, and paid a non-refundable deposit, the following phone call took place.

Client: “Would it be breaking the law if we just called off this whole contract business and you did the work for me on the side? I would still pay you.”

Me: “Well… you already signed the contract and paid us a non-refundable deposit.  We would still need a contract to do work.”

Client: “But I need you to update my website!”

Me: “Which is why you hired us, right?”

Client: “Well, what’s it even going to look like?”

Me: “I’m resending you the brief now, but as you may remember, we’re going to use elements from your old website and—”

Client: “What? I have an old website? Is it on the Internet?”