El Burro Más Que Te, Part 6

(I am taking Spanish 1 in freshman year. One of my classmates is a total a**hole. Since he and I both have behavior issues, we fight often.)

Teacher: “Okay, guys, here’s what you have to do. Go around the room and poll everyone — en español — on what sports they like to play. Then, mark each answer on your worksheet under the appropriate sport. Now…go!”

Classmate: “HEY! [MY NAME]!”

(I curse under my breath as I see him practically shove past other students with one of his not-much-nicer friends in tow.)

Classmate: *practically speaking Spanglish* “[Friend], ¿qué juegas?” *what do you play?*

(They have a brief and terribly spoken dialogue, while I try my hardest not to point out every single one of my mistakes. Finally, it’s my turn to answer. I hate sports, but for the sake of participation, I decide on a relevant, honest answer.)

Me: “No juego los deportes.” *I don’t play sports*

Classmate: *flips out* “NO! You have to answer!”

Friend: “Dude, technically she did. Let’s just leave her off.”

Classmate: “Nope, we have to get EVERYONE.” *condescendingly* “That means HER, too.”

(Of course, he’s only being persistent about it to make me uncomfortable; it’s working a little too well, and I start stimming and refusing to talk. The teacher notices, comes over, and manages to help me calm down and get the dispute under control. Or so it seems; Classmate then taps his friend on the shoulder, gives me a creepy sideways glance, and says:)

Classmate: “I actually have a better answer… Juego al [My Name]!”

Me: *sputters and stammers incoherently for a few seconds before sprinting out of the room and down to the counselor’s office*

(He and I both moved on to Spanish 2, but thankfully, we didn’t share a class.)