Eggs-pecting Breakfast!

The restaurant where I work doesn’t open until 12:00 pm every day. We do not and have never served breakfast or brunch. It’s about 11:30 and I am outside setting up the tables and chairs. It has started to rain. Two American tourists approach me:

Tourist #1: “Are you serving breakfast?”

Me: “No, I’m very sorry, but we don’t actually serve breakfast and we’re not open until 12:00 pm.”

Tourist #2: “But [Other Business] told us you did!”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry about that. They must have been mistaken and confused us with another restaurant. Perhaps—”

Tourist #2: “BUT I WANT EGGS!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry but we don’t serve eggs or any kind of breakfast, nor are we open right now. You’re welcome to come back at twelve when we’ll be serving lunch.”

Tourist #2: “But I want eggs, and [Other Business] told us you do breakfast!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but they must have been mistaken.”

Tourist #1: “Well, do you know anywhere else around that serves eggs?”

Me: “Sure—”

Tourist #2: “And it has to be near because it’s raining and I don’t want to walk too far because we’ve already walked all this way!”

Me: “Okay, well, there’s [Hotel] around the corner. I’m not sure if they’re still doing breakfast at this hour but you could definitely try. There’s also [Pub] or [Café] or [Restaurant].”

Tourist #2: “Do any of them serve eggs? I want eggs!”

Me: “I honestly can’t be 100% sure of what they all serve. There’s a lovely cafe around the corner that does really nice pastries and coffee and might do some breakfast, if that’s any help?”

The second woman is sighing and rolling her eyes.

Tourist #1: “Okay, thank you for your help. We’ll try there.”

They finally left and I was left standing there wondering exactly how this woman expected me to help her. Did she expect me to whip out some eggs and a frying pan from my pocket and start cooking on the street?