Egging Them On

| Related | January 9, 2014

(I am nine years old and my brother is four. Mom has taken us both shopping. I wander off by the produce section and happen across the eggplants, which I have never seen before in my life. The name causes me to crack up like a lunatic.)

Me: “Hey, [Brother]. You’re an eggplant!”

Brother: *at the top of his lungs* “I’M NOT AN EGGPLANT!”

(Everyone turns and stares. Mom is furious.)

Mom: “What have you done to your brother this time?”

Me: “I just told him what he is… an eggplant!”

Brother: “NUH-UH! I’M NOT AN EGGPLANT!”

Me: “You don’t even know what an eggplant is!”

Brother: “Okay, what is it?”

(I rush over to the produce display and grab an eggplant, then run back and wave it in his face.)

Me: “This! That’s what you are!”

Brother: “I’M NOT THAT!”

Mom: “Put that eggplant back this instant! And stop tormenting your brother!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I grab my brother’s hand and drag him over to the produce display.)

Brother: “LET GO OF ME!”

Mom: “What are you doing now?!”

Me: “You told me to put the eggplant back! So I’m putting him back!”

(My brother howled about not being an eggplant all the way through the rest of the shopping trip and all the way back home.)

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