Eats People Like You For Breakfast

(At my university there’s always a cooked breakfast on offer that I never fail to get every day, because it’s delicious, the staff are friendly, and it usually keeps me going until I leave campus for the day. Today is no different, and I’m having a great conversation with the server while we wait for my toast to cook. A woman comes storming over, grabs my shoulders, and pushes me back while pretending to look at the food. I’m autistic and don’t like being touched at the best of times, so I decide to say something.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss? I was here first. You need to wait your turn behind me, and please don’t just grab people like you just did me. It’s rude.”

Woman: *huffs loudly* “Well, I’m only looking! I don’t know what I want yet!”

(I look over at the server with an eye roll, but I just push back in front and continue my conversation from before.)

Me: “Oh, [Server], would you mind adding some of the butter on— Excuse me, can you stop?!

(The woman is now hovering so close to me again that I can feel her breath down my neck as she cranes over my shoulder.)

Woman: “I’m just looking!“

(I try to stay calm, since I don’t want a meltdown in a public place. I take a step away so she can “look,” and my conversation from before ends up at a place where we’re joking about how I’m such a reliable customer that I could live there.)

Woman: “You don’t eat this every day, do you?”

Me: “Yeah, I do; it’s my one treat of the day.” *tries to laugh her comment off*

Woman: “Well, it’s not healthy in the morning! You shouldn’t be eating it!”

(She then proceeds to TAKE MY PAID-FOR FOOD AND THROW IT INTO THE TRASH. My patience is now gone completely, since I am in no way large, and other than some bags under my eyes from sleep deprivation, I’m clearly healthy.)

Me: “Well, neither is your makeup, but we obviously have to look at that, now, don’t we?! Who are you to judge what I eat?!”

Woman: “Well, I… You shouldn’t be eating it!”

Me: “I jog five miles into university every day, and often this is my one meal until late at night! Leave me alone, right now!”

Woman: “IT’S NOT HEALTHY!” *goes back to her table in a huff*

(Thankfully, the cafeteria staff were super kind and gave me my food again, with a couple of extras to make me feel better. That wasn’t the only time the crazy woman had done that, and last I heard she has a permanent ban from campus for being too threatening to people.)