Easily A-Mew-sed

(My hot water tank is leaking and I call a plumber. He’s in his fifties and his assistant, who might be his son, is a big, burly man in his mid-twenties. The plumber starts examining my tank.)

Plumber: “For how long have you been using this water tank?”

Me: “I’ve been living here for only three years, so it’s been used for more than three years, I guess.”

Assistant: “Awww… what a cute little thing!”

(He kneels and starts cuddling my eight-month-old kitten, which was watching them intently. She purrs and obviously enjoys the contact. I can’t help smiling.)

Me: “Her name’s Toffee!” *I turn to the plumber* “I suppose it’s a wear and tear problem.”

Plumber: “Definitely.”

Assistant: “You’re cute! Oh, you’re so cuuuute!”

Plumber: “I’m afraid we’ll have to replace the whole tank.”

Me: “I see. How much is this going to cost?”

Assistant: “You’re cute!”

Plumber: “I’m going to make you a detailed estimate…”

Assistant: “Cuuute!”

Plumber: “He loves animals.”

Me: “I noticed.”

Plumber: “So, I’ll send you the estimate tomorrow.”

Me: “Thank you very much. Toffee, say goodbye!”

(I nearly said: “say goodbye to your boyfriend.” I would have never guessed that that huge guy would go silly about a kitten!)