Dying To Not Work With You

(My job, as well as my team’s, is to assist companies across the UK and Ireland. We’re split into groups of two per region. I have accidentally inhaled the tiniest bit of liquid and I’m coughing.)

Regional Teammate: *in mock disdain and zero concern* “Honestly, dying in order to get out of work.”

Me: *between coughs* “Better hope I don’t die or you’ll have to deal with [Notoriously Difficult Contact at company] alone.”

Regional Teammate: *freezing* “Does anyone know CPR?!”