Dust Stop And Listen To Yourself

(I am working as an usher at a cinema that frequently shows movies in 3D as well as 2D. I’m about to step into a theater to do a check when a guest and her son come out from the theater behind me.)

Guest: “Miss? Excuse me, but there are little spots on my 3D glasses.”

Me: “Spots?”

Guest: “Yes!”

(She shows me the “spots” on the glasses and demands to know what is wrong.)

Me: *blank-faced and trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, that’s dust on the lenses.”

Guest: “Dust? How can there be dust on them? I only just pulled them out of the package!”

Me: “Well, they’re not packed in a sterile environment, and there’s also dust in the air here, so it could have attached at any time.”

Guest: *looking horrified* “How do I get rid of it?”

Me: *really trying to suppress a smile* “The easiest way is to wipe the lenses on the hem of your shirt. You could also use a napkin.”

Guest: “Will it ruin the lenses if I do that?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Also, if you just leave them the way they are, I bet you won’t even notice when your show starts.”

(She finally left, her son looking just as confused as she was, and went back to her theater. Oddly, I never got another complaint from her about the “spots.” My coworkers, however, found the entire incident hilarious.)