Dumbing On Empty

(I am a cashier at a popular home improvement store, and on this particular day I am working on refunds. A customer comes into the store pushing in a new ride-on lawn mower.)

Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Your incompetent associates sold me this tractor, and it doesn’t even work! I demand a refund?”

Me: “No problem, sir. May I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have my receipt, but I bought it yesterday. All I want to do is get another, and I need it NOW!”

Me: “Well, I need to call an associate from the department to see what is wrong with the tractor. Maybe it can easily be fixed.”

(I phone a season associate and he comes over to look at the tractor. He proceeds to ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

Customer: “I spent thousands of dollars on this. You…” *points to seasonal associate* “…sold me this piece of s***! I turned the key and it doesn’t even turn on!”

Other Associate: “Sir, there’s no gas in it.”

Customer: “Of course there’s no gas in it! Give me a working one NOW!”

Other Associate: “It needs gas to run. You know, like a car.”

(The customer angrily argues that gas will not fix the problem and refuses to listen. My fellow associate takes it outside, puts gas in it and it starts right away. The other associate walks in alone and the customer drives off with his working tractor.)

Me: “Is it going to be that kind of day?”

Other Associate: “Yep, I think so. Put gas in it and it’s working just fine. Guy was too embarrassed to come in and apologize!”