Due Process Meets Due Payment

I work at a call center for a company that provides various monthly services. A caller has gone through the security questions and then asks:

Caller: “I just got this month’s invoice for [services], and there’s an extra charge on it. Take it off.”

Me: “I can see that the charge is for a late payment fee from the previous month.”

Caller: “I was late by like, a day, but I paid it.”

Me: “Payment was made nine days late.”

Caller: “Whatever, I paid it!”

Me: “I’m afraid we do need to charge the late processing fee, ma’am.”

Caller: “I didn’t agree to that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am, when you signed the contract.”

Caller: “The contract didn’t say anything about charging me extra without my permission.”

Me: “There is a very specific stipulation about late fees. I can show you if you like—”

Caller: “—I’m a lawyer, and what you’re doing is illegal.”

Me: “No, ma’am, the contract says—”

Caller: “—I didn’t sign it, so it’s not valid.”

Me: “It looks like you did sign the contract, ma’am. I see here that you signed up online, so the contract would have appeared on the screen for you to read and sign.”

Caller: “I would be a pretty stupid lawyer if I signed something without reading it!”

Me: “I agree.”

Caller: “Oh my god, are you calling me stupid!”

Me: “I am agreeing with you.”

Caller: “Get me your manager, now!”

I laugh inside and transfer her to a manager. My manager walks over to me later, laughing.

Manager: “Yeah, she was stupid…”