Dude Or Dude Not, There Is No Try

Boss: “So, if you have any suggestions for me, dude, just let me know.”

Me: “To be honest, as a modern woman, I really am not fond of being called dude.”

Boss: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Boss: “Okay. If I call you dude, I owe you a dime.”

(Sure enough, I’m at my desk later…)

Boss: “[My Name], dude… Agh!”

(She comes over and drops a dime in my change jar. A few days later…)

Me: “I finished status checks and appeals for the day.”

Boss: “Dude, you’re killing it! Agh!”

(A dollar comes flying my way.)

Me: “Dime, not a dollar.”

Boss: “Now I’m covered for the next nine times. How much have I spent so far?”

Me: “Enough to give my friends gas money.”

(A few weeks and several dollars later…)

Me: “If you can go one week without calling me dude, I’ll put away my change jar.”

Boss: “Let’s make it interesting. If I do that, you buy me lunch twice. If I don’t, I buy you lunch twice.”

(We shake on it. She puts up a sign to say “don’t call [My Name] dude!” I put one up that asserts “be so good that [Boss] calls you dude!” The following day…)

Boss: “[My Name], dude, we have so much due today. I’m going to run the reports and send you the email.”

Me: “Sure. You lasted fifteen minutes and owe me two lunches.”

Boss: “Dude! Seriously? I hate my life.”