Ducks Make Most Things Better

(It’s 0700 and the base adjutant arrives to relieve me as Officer Of The Day. Fortunately nothing bad happened on my watch, but a string of petty, annoying incidents kept me busy all night. This particular officer is known for her literal-mindedness. I hand the logbook over.)

Adjutant: “Everything quiet?”

Me: “Mostly, ma’am; nothing major, just a lot of penny-ante stuff. You know, nibbled all night by ducks.”

Adjutant: *astonished* “We have ducks?”