Duck Tales: The Filipino Edit

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2020

I work for animal control for the city. I get a woman on the phone.

Caller: “I want to report some animal cruelty! You have to do something!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Tell me what happened.”

Caller: “It’s happening right now! These people are eating ducklings!”

Me: “They’re… eating ducklings? Where is this happening?”

Caller: “I’m watching this episode of Fear Factor and they’re on it right now peeling duck eggs and eating the baby ducks inside! It’s cruelty to animals!”

What the woman is describing is known as Balut, a food more commonly found in the Philippines.

Me: *Pauses* “Ma’am, you’re watching a television show. That is out of our jurisdiction.”

Caller: “But this is animal abuse! What are you going to do about it?!”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, it’s a television show and therefore out of our jurisdiction. The only thing I can suggest is calling the network if you have a problem with their show.”

Caller: “YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY USELESS!” *Slams the phone down*

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