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Drunk On The Rules

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2019

(The soft play area I work at recently started serving alcohol — with some VERY strict regulations. We have signs up, but obviously, customers don’t read them. I have just taken a food order from a customer when she asks about cider, which I am allowed to sell because she has ordered an adult-sized meal and is visibly over 25.)

Me: “Have you ordered alcohol here before?”

Customer #1: “No, this is my first time here.”

Me: “All right, so, I’m going to give you this—”

(I hand over a non-slip tray with her cider, a glass, and a plastic sign which our cleaning staff look out for to know there’s alcohol about.)

Me: “And basically, if the alcohol is left unattended at any time, it will be taken away.”

Customer #1: “That seems fair.”

Me: “That’s… the politest anyone’s ever been when I’ve told them that.”

Customer #1: “Really?!”

(Roughly thirty minutes later, I am taking drink orders from a small group of parents.)

Customer #2: “I’d like a hot chocolate, please, and what would you like, dear? That isn’t beer; I don’t think they sell that here.”

Me: “We do, but only with a full adult meal and ID.”

Customer #3: *ignoring me and pointing at the fridge behind me* “Yeah, they do! I’ll have a beer then.”

Me: *more insistently this time* “We only serve alcohol with a full adult meal and ID.”

Customer #3: “Oh, what?! What’s the point of selling it, then?”

Customer #2: “Wouldn’t you like something else, instead?”

Customer #3: “No, I won’t bother.”

(He sulked off muttering to himself and I finished the transaction politely. Sorry, parents! If we’re not allowed to get drunk while we’re looking after your children, you’re not allowed to, either!)


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