Drunk Guys Will Pay Anything For Pizza

, , , , , | Working | March 19, 2019

(My grandpa once told me a story from when he delivered pizza. One night, he had an especially big order to a house in the suburbs. When he arrived, there was a party in full swing and lots of talking and music. After he knocked on the door, this happened.)

Grandpa: “Hello, order of pizza!”

Drunk Man #1: “Oh, [Someone Else] has the money! Hold on!”

([Drunk Man #1] stumbles away, leaving the door open. As [Grandpa] stands there waiting, another drunk guy wanders by.)

Drunk Man #2: “Oh, you the pizza guy?”

Grandpa: “Yep.”

([Drunk Man #2] pulls out a twenty and hands it to him, then wanders off. Unsure what to do, Grandpa stands there, waiting for the rest of the money. Then, another drunk guy walks past.)

Drunk Man #3: “Oh, pizza’s here!”

(Grandpa gets another twenty and [Drunk Man #3] wanders off. Still waiting, more drunk men wander past the open door, some more than once, and each time they hand him money. Not wanting to get into it with the drunks, Grandpa just politely takes the money. Finally, the first guy gets back.)

Drunk Man #1: “Okay! Here’s the money for the pizza and here’s a tip!”

(He hands Grandpa two twenties for the tip.)

Grandpa: “Oh, actually…”

(The guy slammed the door shut. After a minute, Grandpa just got back in the car and counted out all the “tips.” It totaled almost $300!)

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