Drug Volunteers

(I volunteer with the administrative manager of Volunteer Services in a local hospital. The phone rings from one of our other departments: Dispatch. The administrative manager gestures to me to go ahead and answer it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling Volunteer Services. How can I help you?”

Dispatch: “Um, yeah, I got this really weird call from a nurse in A-3. I guess a patient’s medications are being held in our pharmacy and she wants us to go get it and bring it up.”

(My eyes go huge.)

Me: “Uhhh, no… No, we cannot.”

Dispatch: “I didn’t think so, but she seemed to be under the impression that volunteers had done it before.”

Me: “Yes, but that was more than two decades ago! For health and safety reasons, no volunteer may handle, transport, or come in contact with any medications.”

(The manager drops the file she’s been carrying and stares at me, her eyes as huge as mine. She waves her hands at me and mouths: “Tell them I say no!”)

Dispatch: “Right, I’ll call them back and tell them we can’t do that…”

Me: “And if they give you grief, please tell them [Name], Administrative Manager of Volunteer Services, said ‘no,’ okay?”

(After I hang up, I look at the administrative manager:)

Me: “So, yeah, apparently a nurse thinks a random Joe Schmo from off the street should be able to access medications from our pharmacy…”