Drowning In Incompetence

(I observe an exchange between a lifeguard, a mother, and the manager. The life guard has just jumped in and saves a three year old from drowning.)

Mother: “Why did you just grab my kid?”

Lifeguard: “He had wandered too deep and couldn’t touch the bottom; I pulled him out because he was drowning.”

Mother: “He was just playing. He was perfectly fine.”

Lifeguard: “Ma’am, his head was under water and he could not breathe. ”

Mother: “I DEMAND to see your manager!”

(The manager, who has witnessed the whole thing, walks over and takes the mother to his office. After about 10 minutes he returns and begins talking to the lifeguard.)

Manager: “Our business is all about serving our members and what you did is unacceptable.”

Life Guard: “You mean saving that kids life?”

Manager: “Yes, the mother says he was just playing and you ruined his fun.”

(The lifeguard is understandably speechless, so I feel the need to interject.)

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to congratulate this lifeguard on saving that kid’s life.”

Manager: “He wasn’t drowning; it was just a drill.”

Me: “Are you kidding?! The kid was under water, flailing, and unable to breathe!”

Manager: “Really?”

Lifeguard & Me: “YES!”

Manager: “Oh, sorry.”

(The manager walks away.)

Me: “You need to find a new job.”

Lifeguard: “No kidding.”