Driving Them Away

(I am first in line at a stop light, waiting for the light to turn green in order to get to a fancy restaurant where I am meeting someone for a first date. I call her to let her know that I am almost there and we talk for a couple minutes. There is a clear “No Turn on Red” sign right next to the road in clear view of everyone.)

Me: “So, do you want to go catch a movie afterwards or something?”

Her: “Sure, we could go see— MOVE, YOU MOTHER-F*****! THERE’S NOBODY COMING! YOU CAN TURN!”

(I hear the car behind me honking and see a young girl on the phone screaming and flailing her arms wildly about. I also hear background honking in my phone.)

Her: “COME ON, MOVE, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF S***! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP!

(At this point I know it is her behind me. The light turns green and I complete my turn.)

Her: “FINALLY! God, people need to learn how to drive. This little s*** wouldn’t turn right when nobody was coming the other way.”

Me: “Well, I guess you won’t be seeing that little s*** at dinner.” *click*