Driving The Marriage Into The Ground

My husband likes to joke with my dad that he was never paid a dowry for marrying me. My dad’s pride and joy — and the object of my husband’s envy — is a 1967 Chevy Impala, in mint condition. Dad likes to drive it to the beach and to golf. When my husband and I are visiting the hometown, Dad gives my husband the keys and lets him drive it for the duration of our visit. And, he says, when he dies, he’ll leave it to my husband, by way of a legacy and a dowry.

One day Dad sees a boat he’d like to buy. The Chevy’s been spending more and more time tucked up in the garage. He decides to sell the Chevy to buy the boat. He advertises the Chevy on New Zealand’s online auction site. There’s a space for comments under each auction listing, and when my husband sees the Chevy listed, he goes pale. He doesn’t speak. He goes outside to his garage. Then he comes back in and types the following into the comments section:

“That car was my dowry. I’m sending back your daughter.”