Driving Away Customers

, , , , | Right | September 6, 2017

(I’m getting coffee with a friend who works as a policeman. As we are sitting, a man leaves the shop, then immediately comes back in, furious.)

Customer: “My car is gone!”

(My friend identifies himself and steps outside with a coffee shop employee. They soon locate the car, which has rolled down the hill, hopped a barrier, and crashed into a concrete barrier.)

Customer: “[Coffee Shop] destroyed my car! I’m suing! I’ll own this place!”

(My friend calls for on duty officers and they arrive quickly. As soon as they investigate, there’s some issue.)

Officer: “Sir? Where did you park your car?”

Customer: “Over there.” *indicates the fire lane*

Officer: “So, you illegally parked your car in the fire lane, blocking the handicap ramp. Parked is the wrong word though. We found the car running and still in gear.”

Customer: “I was just going to be a moment! I’m going to sue [Coffee Shop] for this!”

Officer: “Uh, no. You won’t.”

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