Driving Away The Anxiety

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 16, 2017

I witnessed the death of a close family member in a car accident when I was younger. Because of this, I feel pretty insecure when driving and have an overall anxiety when being in a car. This also led to me failing my practical driving test several times, which only made my anxiety stronger.

One week before my last driving test, another close family member died in a car accident. This hit me hard, and I could barely cope with my emotions. My anxiety was so strong I could not even stand near a car without freaking out internally, let alone sit in a car or drive myself. I called my driving instructor and told him what had happened. He was really kind, and managed to reschedule my driving test for two weeks.

On the day of my driving test, I still was not able to cope with the death of my family member, and my anxiety was still pretty strong. I met with my driving instructor before the driving test, and he told me that he had spoken to the examiner. He told him about the death of my family member and my anxiety. He also agreed with him that they wanted to be silent throughout my driving test so that I could better cope with my insecurity and better concentrate. I did not recognize it while driving, but this helped a lot.

My anxiety hit me pretty strong during the driving test, and I had a feeling of internal panic most of the time. I could not look somewhere else, only on the streets and mirrors as I was supposed to do. When I panicked a lot internally, I managed to look to my driving instructor, only to see him smiling at me. I still was really insecure, but it helped me so much and I was able to drive at least a bit more relaxed. I think his smile made more of a difference than he realized.

I passed the driving test that day, but only with the help of my driving instructor who gave me a feeling of security in my situation of anxiety. I gave him a hug after the driving test, but could not find any words to thank him. We drove back to the driving school to sort out the last paperwork. He hugged me one last time and I left. I wish I had been able to thank him in a better way. He helped me a lot and he deserved some words of gratitude. I hope I can see him again in the future. I am glad that I got to know him.

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