Drew The Short Straw

(I’m sleeping over at a friend’s house, and her mom has just brought in the fast-food breakfast she got for us.)

Me: “Woah, what the heck?”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “There’s something wrong with the straw on my drink.”

(I took the lid off, confirming my suspicions that my friend’s mom had stuck the straw in my iced tea without taking the wrapper off first. After watching me pick the soggy paper out of the cup…)

Friend: “I have no idea why or even how she did that.”