Dressing Down The Situation

(I am working curbside delivery at a chain restaurant and a car pulls up to pick up their delivery. After the introductory spiel:)

Me: “I notice you ordered two salads without meat and a veggie burger. Are you vegetarian?”

Customer: “Yes… Why?”

Me: “Well, the dressing that comes with this salad isn’t vegetarian. Would you like a substitute?”

Customer: *turns white* “What do you mean? We always eat this salad. My wife loves this salad.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’ve never been informed of this. Most people don’t think about whether dressings are vegetarian or not, but this specific dressing contains animal products.”

Customer: “Is there just like maybe a little bit in it? How bad is it? We’ve been eating it for years!”

Me: “It contains four different types of animal lard in it. It is practically all animal product. It’s basically gravy, but for salad.”

(I can practically see the moral dilemma playing over his face while he thinks. He is even clenching the steering wheel.)

Customer: “What do I do? My wife is pregnant; all she wants is this salad and this dressing. She’s going to be devastated. She’s going to start crying…” *he continues muttering in this fashion for about half a minute* “Maybe I’ll break the news to her in a few months when she isn’t so…emotional. Do you think that’s okay?”

Me: “Wise choice. Have a great day and congratulations!”