A Dress You Can Wear Once A Month

, , | Romantic | July 15, 2017

Woman: “I want a dress in your pastel pink collection.”

Me: Of course. Have you picked out a style?

Woman: “Well, I was wondering if you could drape it like a giant vagina.”

Me: “Umm…”

Woman: “Don’t worry, I’m not insane. But I am asking you to make me a vagina dress.”

Me: “And what is this for exactly?”

Woman: “My ex-husband’s wedding. Lord knows why he invited me. But I’m going to have as much fun with that cheating being-of-s*** as I can!”

(We did attempt the dress, but she wasn’t happy with how the period blood looked and decided to look elsewhere.)

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  • Ruth Mayfly

    This is just awesome. I hope she pretended not to know what it looked like and then got in as many photos as possible.

    • Kristen

      Yep. There is only ONE reason to invite an ex you CHEATED on to your wedding… so this would be the best vengeance.

      • Rob Tonka

        “Yep. There is only ONE reason to invite an ex you CHEATED on to your wedding”

        What?

        • Dani

          To gloat, I assume? I dunno

          • Kristen

            To gloat, demean, rub salt in the wounds, try to make her look bad, etc.

  • Deadpool
    • Cathrope

      Apparently you can’t say Viagr*

    • Eavan

      That’s a vulva.

  • Kitty

    Oh, just splash more blood on it and call it your miscarriage dress and go the extra awkward mile.

    • Kristen

      Put all the blood on it, get some psychic powers, and you’ve got yourself a Carrie Dress.

  • Jackie Fauxe

    Did you still get paid for it? I’m not sure how far along “attempt” means here.

  • TheLastHonestLawyer

    I hope she found the right dress, and was the focus of the event.

  • Christine Wood

    I don’t like this plan. It hurts the image of the woman more than the couple. She needs something more subtle.

    • Asiyd

      Yea I never got this mindset… any time I’ve ever seen any kind of revenge plan like this in action, it always made me think the person committing the act was really trashy, and feel more sympathetic to the people whom the revenge was directed toward.

      • Pisces

        I have to disagree with that. I lived under the belief that my dad was an awesome guy. I was close with him too. Then I found out he was cheating on my mom for 13 years. He has all the traits of a narcissist, and the effects of his cheating on my mom technically made him an emotional abuser to his spouse according to my mom’s therapist. My mom kicked him out. My dad never cared how this affected us emotionally. He is abandoning us financially too leaving us in a precarious financial position. He betrayed my mom and my and my brother’s trust in him. We’re all in therapy because of it. I dream of exacting revenge on him. I don’t do it for various reasons, but if I could, I would. Adultery leaves deep emotional wounds on it just the spouse but the kids. It is never ok. If you have a problem, man up and talk to your spouse. If that doesn’t work, divorce them. So my point is, don’t be so judgmental on those who do hatch revenge schemes (this is not to say their schemes are ethical), and don’t be so sympathetic for the cowards who broke their vows and couldn’t do the right thing

        • Asiyd

          “Any kind of revenge plan like this” … “like this” …. I not once said I was judging the revenge itself or the motives. I said a vagina dress is a very bad way of going about it. If you’re gonna do it, don’t make yourself look this bad…

  • Phil Adler

    Did you make the period blood the correct color? Was it period red?

  • Vyrmis

    So nice that she was able to be a mature human being, and move on with her life.

    • ValleyLeada

      If he cheated on her (as is stated) I can understand not being over it. Wearing a v*gina dress though . . . too much. (Not sure whether v*gina would be censored here, not taking the chance.)

      • Kristen

        Not to mention the guy INVITED her to the wedding. Who does that?!

  • Blake Barrett

    A period costume?

  • Earl Grey

    She and I would probably not get along well.

    • Shouldernubs

      I’m sure she’d be very upset to hear that.

  • clemdane

    Wow, this is nuts.