Drawing A Blanc

(We are one of only two supermarkets in our small town, so we get lots of regular customers. Although we have to ID everyone under 25 every time they buy alcohol or cigarettes, we often make exceptions for people who forget to bring their ID, because we have seen it previously. We try to be relaxed about the rules as much as we can, to keep the locals happy. I am alone on the checkout when an old lady regular comes up with milk and wine.)

Me: “And how are you this evening?”

Customer: “Oh, very well! I’m just in to buy this wine because my granddaughter is cooking dinner for us. She can’t buy any because she’s under 18, and, well, she’s making this lovely kind of pavlova!”

Me: “That sounds lovely, but you do realise that you REALLY shouldn’t have told you’re buying alcohol on behalf of someone who is underage? I can’t sell this to you if that’s what you’re doing.”

Customer: “WHAT? But that’s why I’M buying it, for my dinner! I can buy wine if I want!”

Me: *thinking hopefully I misheard her rambling* “Well if you ARE buying it just for your dinner, then maybe I can let you off with it, but you do need to understand that you can’t buy with intent to supply to alcohol to underage people.”

Customer: “I can buy alcohol for my granddaughter if I want to. It’s for cooking. She won’t be drinking it!”

Me: “I know what you are trying to say, but I need you to understand that you can’t TELL ME you’re buying it for a teenager. You can have it this time, under the circumstances, but I need you to tell me you understand you shouldn’t do it in future.”

Customer: “This is unbelievable! If you’re going to be like that, you can take it back! I should be able to buy whatever I want! I’ll just go to [Other Supermarket] and buy it there!”

(She storms off dramatically and the only other customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “She didn’t seem like the brightest spark, did she?”