Dr. Mom, MD (Mostly Dubious)

It’s summer break, and I’ve been enjoying time off by playing videogames until late at night. I’m also suffering from summer allergies, so I have trouble falling asleep unless I’m really super tired, which doesn’t happen until around 3 or 4 AM.

Mom: “You need to stop staying up so late! I bet that’s why you’ve got a cold!”

Me: “No, I don’t have a cold; there are a lot of allergens in the air.”

Mom: “But it doesn’t help that you’re staying up so late. It’s still bad for you.”

Me: “I’m breathing the same allergen-filled air whether I’m awake or asleep.”

Mom: “You’re not a scientist.”

Me: “And you are?”

Mom: “I’ve been on this planet longer than you have!”

Me: “And yet it’s not my internet search history that contains scientifically sound questions like, “Can Ivermectin cure my gay son?” is it?”

Mom: “I told you I was just browsing!”