Dr. McCoy Will Be Right Over
(I have been vomiting all morning and decide I am not well enough for work. I phone in sick.)
Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name]. I’ve been throwing up all morning and I’m not going to be able to come in.”
Manager: “Aww, that’s a poor excuse.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Manager: “Can’t you come up with something more exciting?”
Me: “Like what? I’ve just chest-burst a Xenomorph and now I’m fleeing for my life as Spock and Jack O’Neill try to kill it?”
Manager: “Oooooooh, sounds dangerous! When’s your next shift?”
Me: “Monday. Hopefully I’ll be better by then.”
Manager: “Perfect! Good luck with the aliens, and let me know if you need the Millennium Falcon to drop by!” *hangs up*
Me: *speechless*
(I asked about it when I got back, and learned it’s a game that management plays. Whoever comes up with the best excuse in the year gets vouchers to use in the store, and as this was my first time being sick, I didn’t know. Sadly I only got second place that year, but now I keep a book of outlandish stories that I make up, so the next time, I’m ready!)
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