Downstate Downgrade
I work in a small public library in upstate New York. Every so often, we get visitors from out of town, particularly “The City”, using our wifi, heat, AC, water fountain, whatever.
An older lady comes in and sits down for a little while to work on her laptop. On her way out, she stops at the circulation desk.
Patron: “I’m not from around here, but since you’re a library, maybe you’ll know. A few years ago, I read a book in a book club, and I don’t remember the name of it. A girl called Rosa or something goes to Italy, and the book is all about how different cookies got their names.”
Me: “That doesn’t sound familiar to me, but if you give me a couple of minutes, I could probably figure it out. What else do you remember? Maybe the author’s name? Is it a cookbook or a novel?”
Patron: “Oh no, I don’t know who wrote it. It’s definitely a novel. It goes all into the history of Italian cookies. I’m Italian, so I know all about cooking, but I never learned why the cookies are called what they are. There’s one type of cookie that looks like a sugar cookie, but it has an almond on top, and it’s named after a girl who refused an arranged marriage so her brothers cut her breasts off, and the cookies are named after that. White breasts, brown nipples. I learned that in this book.”
I Google as she talks. “Book, cookie, rosa, bakery, Italy” gets a very promising result at the top of the page.
Me: “Does this sound like the book? Rosalia’s Bittersweet Pastry Shop?”
Patron: “Yes! That’s the one! I could never remember it, so I didn’t think you’d be able to figure it out. I’ll never make fun of upstate people again!”
Me: “You’re welcome?”
Patron: “I didn’t even want to come to your library, I didn’t think you would have anything useful here. But you’ve changed my mind, you angel! You must be the smartest one in this town.”
And then she left. I don’t know how smart one has to be to use a search engine, but I think just about everyone in our uneducated little hick town can do it better than her, because they’d at least try, and they probably wouldn’t insult me while I did it for them.
I might have changed her mind, but she did not change mine. I will be using her story to make fun of downstate people for a while.
