I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 29

(I’m picking up some wall paper samples. I’m in my own little world so don’t notice another customer stride up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Excuse me!“

Me: “Oh, right. Sorry.”

(I move close to the shelves to let her pass.)

Customer: *sighs heavily* “Where are the paper glues?”

Me: “The what?”

Customer: “The paper glues, for putting up wallpaper!”

Me: “Oh, the wallpaper paste. I think I saw them on the end of the aisle.”

Customer: *sarcastically* “Thank you!”

(I shake it off, collect all the samples I want, and prepare to leave. I reach the end of the aisle and see the customer again.)

Customer: *to me* “I can’t see them; where are they?”

Me: “There: the little bags. The ones that say ‘wallpaper paste.’”

Customer: “I know that. Which one do I want?”

(I have had about enough; she has been nothing but rude and I have been nothing but patient so far.)

Me: “Look, lady: what does it say on my shirt?”

Customer: “Don’t you speak to me th—”

Me: “What… does… it.. say… on.. my… shirt?”

Customer: “Well, I… it says [Large Engineering Company].”

Me: “So, not [Store]?!”

Customer: *looks at me blankly*

Me: “You are one of the rudest people I have ever met. Why don’t you learn some manners, or better yet, f*** off?!”

Customer: *the colour drains from her face* “That’s it. I’m getting a manager and getting you fired!”

(She storms off, and I stick around to see what happens. A few minutes later she returns with a manager and a smug look on her face.)

Manager: “Er, I’ve had a complaint about one of my workers?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be me, apparently. I told her that I worked for [Engineering Company], but the old battle-axe wouldn’t listen. She has been incredibly rude and condescending this whole time. Frankly, if this is the treatment your staff get, I would give them a raise.”

Customer: *fuming* “Are you going to let him speak to me that way? This little s*** wouldn’t help me at all, and the other guy, the [racial slur], wouldn’t even listen to me.”

Manager: *to her* “I’m too busy to deal with your petty nonsense. If I hear you harassing any of my other customers, I will personally ban you from this store.”

Customer: “But, but… I need my paper-glue!”