Don’t Want To Go Through This Cycle Again

(Management recently received a memorandum from the head office regarding internal theft. They have held a meeting to discuss the newly implemented policy.)

Manager: “When your shift ends, one of the managers or supervisors needs to check your belongings before you leave. This includes but is not limited to purses, jackets, backpacks, and whatnot.”

(Most of my coworkers let out a disappointed sigh. I, on the other hand, remain quiet and keep my poker face on. True to my manager’s word, at the end of my shift, he approaches me for a bag check.)

Manager: “Okay, [My Name], I just need to check your belongings now.”

Me: “Oh, sure, no problem!”

(I should mention here that unlike most of the staff, I don’t commute by car or bus. I ride my motorcycle to work.)

Me: “Okay, here’s my bag.”

Manager: *checks bag*

Me: “And I’ll just take my jacket off. Make sure to check every pocket, including the hidden ones.”

Manager: *checks jacket*

Me: “And here’s my helmet.”

Manager: *checks helmet*

Me: “Oh, whoops, I forgot to take off my chest and spine protectors.”

Manager: *checks protectors*

Me: “Here are my gloves.”

Manager: *checks gloves*

Me: “How about my boots? Who knows what can fit in there?”

Manager: *checks boots*

Me: “All right, anything else?”

Manager: “I think that’s everything. Okay, you’re free to go. Have a good night, [My Name]. Ride safe now.”

(We go through this routine for about three more shifts. On the shift after that, however…)

Me: “All right, I’ve clocked out. I guess it’s time for-“

Manager: “No!”

Me: “But what about internal theft?”

Manager: “I don’t care! Get the h*** out of here, [My Name]!”

Me: “Okay, good night!”

(So, just like that, they made a special exception for me because it was too exhaustive to actually enforce the policy. This policy eventually became discontinued because my coworkers protested that it was unfair that I was the only one exempt from searches.)