Don’t Want Any Prize You Could Offer

(While I’m employed by a well-known grocery store, I work in a specific department that is only associated with the store by contract. I have the store name tag, but my uniform is red instead of the usual blue. Despite this, I have memorized where the “popular” items are — bread, milk, eggs, etc. I’m on break, looking at bathroom accessories I might want in my new apartment.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss. Can you tell me where the deodorant is?”

(Despite not knowing the exact aisle, I know generally where it is.)

Me: “Certainly! It’s—”

Customer: *makes a loud buzzing sound, like a wrong-answer buzzer on a game show* “Too slow! You lose! You could have won a wonderful prize! But now I have to find it by myself, since you don’t know!” *wanders off*

(I’m stunned into silence. A coworker walks over, having heard the whole transaction. He raises an eyebrow in question.)

Me: *mystified* “I work in the cheese department….”