We Don’t Think They Actually Know What A Chicken Is

, , , , , , | Right | January 21, 2018

(I am the manager on duty at a popular pizza and wing joint. It’s an uncharacteristically slow night, and I get a phone call from a very unhappy customer.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got the wrong wings.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I have your phone number so that I can look up the order?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s [number].”

Me: “Okay, great! Can you tell me why the wings are unsatisfactory?”

Customer: “I ordered boneless wings with no sauce, and I got chicken nuggets!”

(She did indeed order this, but as our night has been slow, I know for a fact they were made correctly; I made them, after all.)

Me: “I see. Your ticket confirms your order, so I have just a few questions. You received chicken wings without bones?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And they had no sauce?”

Customer: “Right.”

Me: “So, you ordered boneless, no-sauce wings, and got boneless, no-sauce wings?”

Customer: “Yeah, but it has bread on it! They’re chicken nuggets!”

Me: “I’m afraid all of our boneless wings are breaded, ma’am. If you’d like, I’d be more than happy to make you some replacement wings of a different type.”

Customer: “But I don’t want nuggets!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I just don’t have non-breaded boneless wings.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I asked for boneless chicken breasts, and I got chicken nuggets! What is so hard about this?”

Me: “If you’re looking for full chicken breasts, ma’am, I suggest looking in [Grocery Store]. I’m sure they can accommodate you.”

Customer: “But I don’t want nuggets!”

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