Don’t Tell Me How To Live My Nine-Lives!

(I’m staying with Friend #1 and Friend #2 for vacation; they have two pet cats. Friend #3, whose nickname is Kat, is also vacationing here.)

Friend #2: “We have too many cats in the house. One of them has a cone on his head.”

(Pet Cat #1 is wearing a cone to keep him from scratching his neck so hard it bleeds.)

Friend #3: “Meow?”

Me: “Meow?”

Friend #3: *to me* “You’re not a cat.”

Me: “Don’t tell me how to live my life!”