Don’t Take This Neighborly Advice

, , , , | Friendly | December 20, 2018

(My bedroom window is over our back gardens and my neighbor has a very loud voice, so I unintentionally overhear several of his conversations.)

Neighbour: *on phone* “Yeah, he speaks one of those Chinese-y type languages, like Spanish…”

Neighbour: “Why do you need coal or gas to light the barbecue? Can you not just use fire?”

Neighbour: “Can you eat the fruit on that tree next door?”

(My garden has the only tree near his house and it’s a pine tree. Another time, he has a builder over to paint his conservatory.)

Builder: “Just have to take some outside measurements now, and we can order the optimum paint for this.”

Neighbour: “Why do you want a transformer for it?”

(I would love to have seen the builder’s reaction!)

Neighbour: “Does he worship Muslim, too?”

(Particularly strange, as he is of Middle-Eastern descent.)


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