Don’t Shoot The Troubleshooter

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. Can you verify the name on your account, please?”

Customer: “No, I can not. My box is not working, and I want a replacement sent to me tomorrow.”

Me: “If you need an equipment replacement, I can definitely have one sent to you. However, before I can do that, I will need to do a few troubleshooting steps with you.”

Customer: “My name is [name]! I have no picture, the box is on, and all I see is snow!”

Me: “A snowy picture usually means there is an issue with the cabling, but can also be simply the TV is on the wrong channel. Have you checked these out?”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? The TV channel never changes, and the cables are still tight! Here, listen!”

(I hear a banging sound.)

Customer: “Get me a new box, now!”

(After asking a few more questions, I start the process to have a replacement sent. Out of curiosity, I ask what I was hearing
earlier.)

Customer: “I grabbed the cables behind the TV. They were all tight.”

Me: “Would you mind following the cable from the equipment to the TV, checking for frays? That could also cause the signal to not get through.”

Customer: “Fine! Whatever, but there is no problem.”

(The customer puts his phone down with a slam. I listen as he bangs around loudly, cussing the entire time about how stupid I am. After a few seconds, I hear the TV blare on, and the line disconnects.)