Don’t Kick A Pink Gift Horse In The Mouth

(It’s nearly closing time, when a mother comes in with her son, who looks to be about two or three.)

Boy: “I want a dolly! Look mummy!” *takes doll off shelf*

Mother: “No, that’s for girls. Let’s go look at the Lego.”

Boy: *points at box of pink Lego* “This one, mummy! Please!”

Mother: “You can’t have pink, that’s a girl’s colour.”

Boy: “I get horsey?” *points at pink toy horse*

Me: “I love horseys. That seems like a great idea. It’s always lovely to see a handsome young man like you who likes pink horseys. Is that okay with you, Ma’am?”

Mother: “You’re trying to turn my son gay!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am not attempting anything like that.”

(I walk away to allow the mother to pick out a ‘suitable’ toy for her son. They walk up to the cash desk with a toy car set, but the boy is crying.)

Me: “That’ll be £23, please.”

Boy: “Want horsey!”

Me: “Since you’re such a cutie, how about a free horsey?”

(I took a cheap pink horse from a shelf and handed it to him.)