Don’t Kick A Gift-Fox In The Mouth

(I hate surprises, especially expensive ones. I get really worried I won’t like the present, and that it’ll be a massive waste of the giver’s money. I have just found out my boyfriend has spent $650 on me for our anniversary. I am panicking about it to my mum.)

Me: “He says it represents exactly how he feels about me, and what he wants to tell me.”

Mum: “Oh, do you think it’s going to be all cheesy?”

Me: “I don’t know! But $650? I can’t think of anything I’d spend that much money on! Well, I can, but I don’t think they represent how he feels about me.”

Mum: “Why? What would you spend that much money on?”

Me: “A taxidermy fox.”

Mum: “Yeah… let’s hope that’s not how he feels about you.”

Me: “Ooh, there’s something else I’d spend that much money on.”

Mum: “What?”

Me: “Tickets to see Philip Quast.”

(Philip Quast is an actor/singer I have a massive crush on. My mum laughs and impersonates my boyfriend.)

Mum: “I feel for you, the way you feel for Philip Quast.”

(The gift ends up being a really nice necklace. The funny thing is that he wrote a Philip Quast innuendo in my card, and was insulted when I didn’t get the reference.)