Don’t Have A Cow, Man, Part 4

, , , | Right | June 1, 2020

When someone asks why I hesitate to answer the phone at work, this is the story I tell.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “I need a cow.”

Me: “A… cow?”

Caller: *Scoffs* “Yeah, like moo. Horns, udders. A cow.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell cattle.”

Caller: “No. A cow.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell ‘a cow.’”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “We don’t house livestock. You could try an auction house; [Farming Company in the next town] might be able to direct you.”

Caller: “Well, you sell animals, right?”

Me: “We sell small animals. Rabbits, reptiles, rodents… not cattle.”

Caller: “That’s dumb.”

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have what you’re looking for.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: *Fed up* “We don’t have a livestock license. We sell small pets, not large farm animals.”

Caller: “Well, how am I supposed to get a cow?”

Me: “As I said, there’s a farm supply store, or you could try an auction. I know there are farm shows going on all summer. Maybe ask a vet?”

Caller: “F*** you and your stupid store!” *Hangs up*

Related:
Don’t Have A Cow, Man, Part 3
Don’t Have A Cow, Man, Part 2
Don’t Have A Cow, Man

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