Don’t Have A Cow, Man

(Part of being a cashier at my store is answering the phones. I think it’s rude to pick up the phone while I’m ringing up a customer, but I try to multitask to the best of my ability and apologize when the phone rings. On this occasion, the phone rings, so I turn to the customer in front of me.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re supposed to answer the phone right away. I’ll try to keep this brief.”

Customer: “It’s fine.”

Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi. How much is a cow?”

Me: “How much is… what?”

Caller: “A cow. Don’t you sell cows?”

Me: “Like… you milk them, they live in a pasture? Cows?”

(I’m still not sure I’ve heard her right.)

Customer: “Did you say, ‘cows.’?”

(I nod “yes” and shrug.)

Caller: “Yeah!”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “Because they’re livestock, not small pets.”

Caller: “But they’re animals. You sell animals.”

Me: “Yes. We sell small pets like mice and birds and reptiles.”

Caller: “But cows are animals.”

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Caller: “You’re not being helpful.”

Me: “You could try [Farm Supply Company], or an auction, or maybe the classifieds.”

Caller: “I’m not doing that. You’re a c***.” *hangs up*

Me: *to the customer in front of me* “So. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “That was the single funniest conversation I’ve ever heard. Please don’t be sorry.”