Don’t Go Grand Stealing My Heart

(I am playing ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ and my boyfriend is watching me. I’m running across the road and a car hits me. I proceed to pull out the driver, beat him to death, then pour gasoline over him and his car and light them both on fire.)

Boyfriend: “Dang, remind me not to mess with you.”

Me: “Don’t watch me while I’m playing this game. It will make you want to break up with me.”