Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls…

I’m browsing in a small souvenir shop in my hometown, which sits right on the edge of a massive national park. It’s summer, which means peak tourist season, lots of sunburns, sandals, and questions that feel like fever dreams.

A customer walks in and heads straight to the counter, where the shop owner is sorting postcards.

Tourist: “Hi! Quick question! What time do they feed the bears in the park? We’d love to go watch!”

There’s a beat. The owner doesn’t even look up from the postcards.

Shop Owner: “It’s at 8 AM, right next to the waterfalls after they turn them on.”

Tourist: “Perfect, thank you!”

She leaves, blissfully unaware. I just stare at the shop owner, who finally looks up and says:

Shop Owner: “If she makes it back, she gets a magnet.”

Our National Park doesn’t even have waterfalls.