Don’t Football Players Normally Wear More Padding?

I work the night shift at my college library. We have study rooms with big TVs that students are able to reserve. Normally, it’s for watching recorded lectures or powerpoints, but you can watch anything in there.

Tonight, we have a group of guys reserving it to watch the playoff games. That’s okay, as long as you don’t get too rowdy. We set them up in a room on the far side of the library. They’re not disturbing anyone; I can just faintly hear the sound of screaming and excitement from the TV itself, or so I think.

Student: “Umm… there’s a group of guys watching… non-school-related videos.”

Me: “Oh, I know. Is it too loud?”

Student: *Flustered* “Yes! It’s too loud!”

Me: “All righty, I’ll tell them to turn it down. Thanks for letting me know.” 

I start heading toward the stairs.

Student: “They’re not up there! They’re back there!”

The student points to the other side.

Me: “Wait…”

I realize that the “football noises” have been coming from the wrong direction this whole time. 

I follow the “football noises” and uncover a librarian’s worst nightmare: a group of teen boys huddled around a monitor.

Me: “WHY?! Why with the volume up all the way like that?! My God!”

I turn to the hero student that reported them.

Me: “I’m sorry, I got them confused with a group of guys watching football upstairs.”

Teen Boy: “You’re allowed to watch football in the library?” 

Me: “You’re watching sexually graphic videos in the library. Why do you care what’s allowed?!“

They were subsequently herded out like a group of crime-committing cattle.