Don’t Even Starch With Me

(Our office recently switched from Styrofoam to packaging material made out of starch. Even though it looks much like Styrofoam, it’s edible. Also, while the working atmosphere here is generally good, there is one rather lazy woman that has it in for a tomboy who — justifiably — prides herself on her very strong work ethic. In fact, she’s constantly trying to badmouth her.)

Lazy Coworker: “Yesterday I was on my way to meet some friends so I drove by the office and guess who still was here at 8:30 pm. Right, [Hard Working Coworker]?”

Me: “Okay?! Yes, she had an important deadline yesterday. Looks like she finished that project, though.”

Lazy Coworker: “It’s not just yesterday. I mean… [Hard Working Coworker] should get a life already! Some more months and she’ll move in here. She never even goes to lunch break with the rest of us.”

Me: “If you say so. She does good work and that’s what counts, right?”

Lazy Coworker: “Still, doesn’t she—”

(Suddenly said coworker comes through the open door behind our desks. The lazy coworker isn’t sure whether our coworker heard her rant, so she quickly switches her play.)

Lazy Coworker: *deceitfully* “Hey, we were just talking about you. Do you want to grab some food with us? Or should we bring something for you? We were thinking about kebab.”

(Hard Working Coworker grabs a nearby carton of starch packaging material and starts eating it like chips while keeping a straight face. The lazy coworker, who, by the looks of it, doesn’t know it is edible, looks at her in shock.)

Coworker: “No, thank you, but since I’m apparently planning to move in here, I need to make do with what I can find inside the office.”

(She walked away, still eating the packaging material. I immediately burst out laughing. Fortunately, this led the lazy coworker to ignore me for quite some time.)