Don’t Drink And Dial And Deliver

| Right | March 12, 2015

(In this story, I’m the unreasonable customer. I had just come back from a bar with my friends, and we are all drunk & craving Chinese food. It’s rather late, but we REALLY wanted some Chinese food, so I call up a nearby restaurant.)

Owner: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’d like to place an order for delivery, please.”

Owner: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed. I’m afraid we’re unable to fulfill orders anymore.”

Me: “Aw, man, really? When did you close?”

Owner: “We actually closed just a few minutes ago.”

Me: “It’s only been a few minutes, right? You couldn’t possibly have started cleaning up already, right? Can’t you do one more order?”

Owner: “I’m sorry sir, but even though the kitchen is still technically open, I still need to send my delivery boy home, as his shift is already over.”

Me: “Is he still there? If he is, tell him that I’ll pay him $50 extra.”

Owner: “One moment, please.”

(The owner puts down his phone and I hear some talking in the background.)

Owner: “All right, he says he’ll do it. May I take your order, sir?”

(I place my order and wait patiently for my food. 20 minutes later, a car pulls up to my driveway. The delivery boy gets out of his car, and walks up to my door with my order.)

Me: “Hi! I’m really sorry for doing this to you, but we’re all drunk as s*** here and the alcohol’s making us want Chinese food.”

Delivery Boy: “It’s okay. You got that $50?”

Me: “H*** yeah, I do!”

Delivery Boy: “Then all is forgiven.”

(I gave him a $50 bill, and I paid for the food on debit. I would later learn that this was very poor judgment on my part, because in my drunken stupor, I ended up choosing the tip option on the debit machine. So not only did I give this poor guy $50, I also gave him a 30% tip on a $90 order. I may have been a dick, but I certainly hope the delivery boy had a good night! Always drink responsibly. Seriously, it may cost you.)

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