Don’t Bite The Hand That Paper Feeds You

(Almost 10 years ago, I applied for a summer job at the company my uncle was working at. I got a job in the IT department reseting passwords, installing new computers, changing printer cartridges, etc. One day, my boss comes to me.)

Boss: “Hey, I got a top priority task for you. Mr. [Head of the Marketing] asked for a new printer two weeks ago. Here it is. Go now, because I told him this early morning someone will come before 12:00, and it’s already past 11:30.”

Me: “Okay, I’m leaving now.”

Boss: “Hey, be careful. He is an awful little b****. Be super nice and polite.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be cautious.”

(I take the cart to the elevators, find his cubicle, and knock on the door.)

Head of Marketing: “YEAH, WHAT?!”

Me: “Hello, sir. I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I’m here to set up your new printer. I’ll—”

Head of Marketing: “It’s about time! I ordered that two months ago! You took your time, didn’t you?”

Me: “Sir, I was given this task ten minutes ago. It’ll take five to ten minutes to install it.”

Head of Marketing: “Fine ! I’ll have to go to the front desk. When I’ll be back, I want this printer ready.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(After leaving for 10 minutes, he comes back.)

Head of Marketing: “So, is it done yet?”

Me: “Yes, sir. It’s plugged and I just finished to install the driver. I just need two minutes to check everything is okay, print one page or two, and it’ll—”

Head of Marketing: “No time for that. I have to leave right now and lock my doors. So, take your stuff and leave.”

Me: “Okay, sir. If you have any problems or questions about your new printer, call us and we will—”

Head of Marketing: “Yeah, sure thing.”

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Head of Marketing: *says nothing*

(Later, around 2 pm, the phone rings.)

My Boss: “[My Boss Name], IT service. How can I help you?”

Head of Marketing: “I’d like to talk to the little brat who installed my new printer with his feet this morning.”

My Boss: “He is right here with me. What’s the problem, sir?”

Head of Marketing: “Oh yeah? You’d better send him back at once. I have a meeting in ten minutes. I need to print material and nothing works, AS USUAL!”

My Boss: “Okay, he’s coming right now.”

Head of Marketing: *click*

My Boss: *to me* “What the f*** did you do? I told you to be extra cautious!”

Me: “I don’t know, boss. I installed everything. It’s the 4th printer I’ve installed and nothing went wrong before. But he didn’t let me test the printer before I left.”

My Boss: “D***! Go back and fix it!”

(I head back to the Head of Marketing’s cubicle to find him clicking angrily with his mouse.)

Head of Marketing: “Oh, you! “Come here! You see?” *clicks “Print”* “…AND NOTHING! What was the point of changing my old printer?! It was working fine. These new fancy printer never work!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll check what’s wrong with it right now.”

Head of Marketing: “You have three minutes. I’ll be right back!”

(I launch the diagnostic app installed with the drivers: nothing wrong. I try printing a test page: nothing. Then, just in case, I open the paper tray… bingo! Quite pissed off by this guy, I leave his cubicle to find him in the hallway, chatting with people.)

Me: “Sir, I found the problem!”

Head of Marketing: “What did you do?”

Me: “Sir, next time you want to print something on paper, just load paper in your printer. Have a good day, sir.”

Head of Marketing: *blushes*

(The Head of Marketing calls back at the end of the day to complain to my boss. He tells him he didn’t really need a new printer, and tells him I did everything wrong. Angrily, my boss hangs up.)

My Boss: “THAT AWFUL LITTLE B****!”