Don’t Be Hiss-terical

| Related | February 2, 2016

(My sister has always had a very strained relationship with our grandmother, who often is nasty and sarcastic towards her for no reason while taking offense to absolutely everything my sister says to her, whether justified or not. This conversation happened over a recent family gathering.)

Me: “So, my boyfriend and I may have accidentally adopted another kitten. We found one abandoned under our front porch and brought him in from the cold and now he seems to think he lives there.”

Sister: “I wish I could find a kitten under my porch, but I’d be worried that my garter snake that lives under there might try to hurt it.”

Grandmother: “You need to get rid of it.”

Sister: “But I don’t want to get rid of him! I named him Shoelace and I like him because he helps with our mouse infestation.”

Grandmother: “Well, I don’t like snakes and I think you should get rid of him! Kill him if at all possible!”

Sister: “Sorry, but I’m not going to hurt Shoelace just because you don’t like him. He’s not dangerous and he mostly just does his own thing and you’ll probably never see him unless you know where to look anyway.”

Grandmother: “Well, as long as you have a snake at your house, I’m never coming to visit again!”

(She then storms off angrily, leaving my sister and I standing there looking stunned.)

Me: “Do you think she was serious about that?”

Sister: “I hope so. What’s the largest species of snake that you can legally own as a pet in Pennsylvania?”

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